Living In An Angel's Shadow
by Jay's Song
Summary: Everyone thinks my sister is perfect. She is, in a way. Am I jealous? Yes, I suppose I am. Wouldn't you, living in an angel's shadow?
1. Chapter 1

**AN: Hey, there. I haven't completed my other stories, but I really need a new start. I'm considering deleting A Drop of Rain, or discontinuing it. Or just adding in chapters whenever I feel like it. I just can't think of a perfect plot for that one, honestly. So I'll take a break from it. This new story of mine won't be very long, just something I can go to whenever I feel stuck. My cousin might collaborate with me on this one. Now, enough banter. Here I go.**

_The Beginning_

When I was born, I wasn't thought to be very special. I had a plain brown pelt the color of muddy water, and when later on I opened my eyes, they were a common shade of yellowish amber. Not that looks mattered, no, but it seemed to matter compared to my sister.

She had an interestingly beautiful pelt. It was grey and black, with intricate bands and patches of auburn and copper. The ginger parts were most likely inherited from our father, and the grey and black from our mother's mother. Her eyes were a lovely dark blue, and sometimes when she turned her head a different angle in sunlight, they seemed violet.

She was smaller than me. She was slender with dainty little paws and delicately curved bones, so much opposite from me. I was sturdy and well-muscled, with strong, thick limbs. So my sister and I, we were very different cats altogether.

I was simply named Mudkit. Didn't take me long to figure out why. My parents, however, took an intense interest in the naming of my sister. Names came and went over my head, and finally they settled on "Emberkit". They thought it was suitable for her, mainly for her pelt color.

Did I ever mention our birthing? I had been the first to slip out into this very large world, so I was technically the oldest. Next and lastly came Emberkit, and once she was out everyone thought she'd die. She was so deathly still and tiny. Her chest hardly rose, and nobody could tell if she was breathing or not. Our medicine cat, Acornwhisker, vainly used every technique he knew to revive my sibling. In the end, I finished the job. Annoyed by the scared mews of those around me, and by the uncomfortable position I lay sprawled in, I ruthlessly lashed out a hind paw and thumped my sister squarely in the stomach. I hadn't meant to, but it had happened. It worked, and I am pleased to say my violent method worked far more efficiently than Acornwhisker's gentle massaging. She started to breathe, and so did my mother and father, who had been holding their breaths throughout the whole thing.

My sister lived. And in my sister's life, I seemed to play a very minor role.

**I realize it's very short, but this is just the beginning. Tell me if you'd like me to continue, and I'd appreciate reviews and constructive criticism. My cousin thought up this plot with me, so she'd be happy to know you like it. See everyone next time!**


	2. Chapter 2

**AN: Thanks to some lovely people: Willowsmoke of ShadowClan, april243, Stuffed Watermelon, Ashbreeze365, Storm-Eyes-Osprey, and The Last Fire Lily! Also, thanks to those who favorited or followed the story. You all are lovely, very lovely. The chapters of this story will be short for a while, and when I get time I'll make them longer. Here it is.**

I first realized my minor role during the later days of my kithood. During the first few moons of my life, I didn't notice anything different about the attention given to my sister and I. Everyone seemed to care about us, fawn over us, coddle us. Emberkit and I seemed to be on the same level. But then I began to notice things.

We were allowed to visit the elders den one day. There were three cats currently living there: Whisperstep, Owlcry, and Mintnose. As we entered, Whisperstep, a small golden-furred she-cat, lifted her head and a rumbling purr rose from her throat. She awakened her sleeping companions, and soon all three of them were studying us with great interest.

Mintnose, a former loner, narrowed his near-sighted blue eyes, and he croaked appreciatively, "Eh, that smaller young 'un is definitely the prettier o' the two." He gestured towards my sibling, and the other two elders nodded thoughtfully. I'm sure he hadn't meant to be rude, but still his words stung. Emberkit giggled cutely, beaming at the old tom. Mintnose crookedly grinned and beckoned her over. "C'mere, sweetheart. Lemme take a closer look at your purty li'l eyes." After that, my smile was forced and permanently plastered on my face during the duration of our visit.

It wasn't just the elders. My mother and father seemed to have their own opinion, too. One night, Emberkit and I were snuggled close to my mother's warm stomach, and my father entered the den to bid us goodnight. Emberkit, however, tugged on his tail as he turned to leave, and she squeaked in her irresistibly sweet voice, "Oh, Papa, don't leave yet! Mama's going to tell us a story!" I sighed, burying my head deeper into the warm fur. There she goes again with her nagging.

But our father didn't seem to find it the least bit bothersome. In fact he looked pleased as he assented and sat at our mother's head. "Very well. Sootbreeze?" He looked down at his mate.

She purred, and pretended to think long. I forgot my annoyance, and I joined my sister in excited pleas. "Tell us a good one, Ma, tell us a good one!"

So she laughed, settled more comfortably into her nest, wrapped her plumy tail around our wriggling bodies, and began to tell us of our births. Papa pitched in, adding his own account of the time. I listened intently, solemn-faced and grave. It must have been difficult and painful for both of them on that day. I felt I should apologize for the pain I had given at the kitting, but before I could do so my sister poked me in the ribs and giggled, "Mercy, Sis. Stop looking so stony, for StarClan's sake!" I bit back a retort, and I was silent throughout the rest of the account. And I began to notice things. Lots of things.

"What was I doing while Acornwhisker tried to make Emberkit breathe?" I asked.

Sootbreeze had frowned, looking to Papa for help. He frowned, too, and shook his head. "We honestly weren't really paying attention to what you were doing, dear. We were so worried about Emberkit." Right, then. They hadn't been paying attention to me. Onwards.

"Why did you name me Mudkit?" I persisted. "Did I really look like mud?"

She frowned again, thought for a while, looked to Papa, and shrugged. "Oh, I don't really remember. It seemed the only name that came to mind when I looked at you." Mhmm. Very convenient.

"How about Emberkit?" I ask again, echoing my thoughts.

"Well…" My mother's eyes brightened. Obviously, that was one thing she remembered, and I lowered my gaze as she launched into a long explanation of Emberkit's naming.

So I gathered a few things about the importance of my existence after that tale. I stayed awake even after Sootbreeze and my sister fell asleep, gnawing at my paw. In conclusion, my mother and father hadn't really thought much about me even when I was born.

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	3. Chapter 3

**To those who have reviewed the last chapter, I truly think you are lovely people. Hugs and kisses to: That-girl-from-outer-space6, Mizu kuresu, Embersky of ShadowClan, Willowsong of ThunderClan, Stuffed Watermelon, and Flashdr1v3.**

**Now, just a note. The plot and characters are very similar to those in the book Jacob Have I Loved. Just to clarify that. **

Even if my parents and Clanmates hadn't thought much about me throughout my kithood, I was thankful to find a cat that did. Maybe he just didn't care about favoritism like they did, and I was grateful for that.

This cat was Stonekit. Let me describe him: He had dark gray fur, overly large paws, a short stumpy tail, and very dull brown eyes. His personality? He was what I'd call a very—how do I put this?—well, he wasn't a very _bright _cat. Yes, I think he's a complete mouse-brain with no imagination. We weren't alike in many ways. He was the only kit born to his mother, and she constantly worried about him. Probably because he was so uselessly dumb that he wouldn't see a hundred fox-length drop in the ground until he stepped right into it.

But we had a few things in common as well. We both longed for company. Nobody wanted to make a conversation with Stonekit—as I said, he wasn't very bright. He found another cat to talk to, however, that being me. Even though he was hopelessly unimaginative, I stuck with him. Whenever I found myself feeling jealous about the attention my sister received and the unfairness of it all, I'd automatically go to him to vent out. All my words entered one ear and exited out of the other, but at least he pretended to listen with undivided attention. It helped.

But, I must remind you, we did have our frustrating moments. One night we sat at the nursery entrance, staring up at the full moon side-by-side. Both our fathers had left for the Gathering, and we were simply waiting for them to return. Emberkit was in the nursery sleeping with my mother, but I didn't feel like joining them.

The moon was large and seemed so close. I couldn't help but say, "If I can find a mountain high enough, I think I can claw the moon out of the sky." My mistake. One thing I learned about talking with Stonekit, it was to never mention anything unrealistic. Such as that.

"Oh, Mudkit." He sighed and shook his head. Evidently, we both thought that the other was empty-headed. "There will never be a mountain high enough for a cat to reach the moon, and even if one did climb such a mountain, he can't claw the moon out of the sky. How will we have Gatherings if there's no moon?"

I uttered an exasperated sigh. "It's a metaphor. I said it because that's how close the moon looks."

"Why say it if you can't do it?"

"I already said, Stonekit, it's a _metaphor. _Just drop it."

He went on as if he hadn't heard. "And I doubt even if you die and live among the stars, you won't be able to reach the moon. Have we seen StarClan cats living on the moon?" He had very disturbing imagination indeed.

"No we haven't," I huffed, rolling my eyes. "So drop it."

"I suppose you want to claw the stars out of the sky next," Stonekit persisted. "Swipe our ancestors back to the ground."

"Good grief! How can you think such a thing?"

Stonekit gazed at me solemnly, his beady brown eyes boring into me. "You started it."

"Did not. I said to drop it."

"Still, you started it. Some ridiculous thing about clawing the moon from the sky."

"For the hundredth time, it was a metaphor!" I was nearly shriveling from frustration. The warm nest inside the nursery suddenly seemed inviting. "Now, I'm going to sleep."

That's how things went between us. I always had to be the one to end the discussion. Even though we often bickered about these outlandish things, we still needed each other. Mostly for survival.

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	4. Chapter 4

**Hey! I meant to update sooner, but my father took our main computer away on a business trip. The computer I am using now needs to be fixed. Many, many thanks to some awesome people: EmberskyOfShadowClan, That-girl-from-outer-space6, Willowsong of ThunderClan, Mizu kuresu, Echotrail, and Willowsmoke of ShadowClan! And thanks to all that favorited/followed. **

Days went by. I grew larger and stronger. My soft, fluffy kit fur smoothened into a sleeker brown pelt (not that I liked it better either way), and I lost my kit-like gawkiness. I didn't grow physically attractive, but I was mentally more capable than I was before.

Emberkit, on the other paw, grew into a very pretty little thing. Angelic, graceful, and beautiful. Ugh, it makes me sick. Even at five moons, she acted so annoyingly divine, gliding elegantly towards the fresh-kill pile while I tumbled to it in a tangled mess of limbs and fur. The difference between us grew even greater as we aged. And I slipped even deeper into my sister's shadow during that time.

Stonekit wasn't any better than I. He never seemed to be able to grow into those abnormally large paws. He continued waddling around like a duck even during the time near our apprenticeship, when he should have grown into a finer, much more attractive creature. But whom am I to judge on such petty things? I am not anymore so finer than he.

What annoyed me the most was Emberkit's personality. No matter how hard I tried, I could never make her really upset. It would have given me a sense of elation to know that even my seemingly-perfect sister can be annoyed, or angry, or just altogether furious like everyone else tends to be at some point in their lives. But, unfortunately for me, Emberkit was not "like everyone else".

On one bright, sunny day, I felt that I needed to prove myself. Prove that I was at least better than my sister in at least one thing. She had been receiving attention all morning, while I had been sitting quietly in my nest like a very good kit, watching with a bitter sense of jealousy.

"Ah, where's my little beauty?" Emberkit perked, hearing our father's voice, and both of us knew exactly which "beauty" he was addressing. With a delighted squeal, she rushed out of the nest towards him. I watched her go with cold, flinty eyes. She never seemed to trip over objects like I did. Whenever she ran, she ran as if she were the breeze itself. It was so unfair. Why was the breeze against me, too?

My father, Redsplash, purred loudly as Emberkit halted in front of him, lowering his head to rub his muzzle against her cheek. "Good to see you this morning, dear."

"Good to see you, too, Papa!" Emberkit told him graciously, her voice sweet. I rolled my eyes, turning away from them. Only then did my father notice me.

"Mudkit," he hailed me, not in the same bright voice he had used to speak to my sibling. There was an awkward pause in between, and I didn't look at him as I replied coolly,

"Hello, Dad." Perhaps I should've answered him with more enthusiasm. Show him that I was excited by his presence. But I was _far _from being excited.

Without seeing, I could tell Emberkit was looking into my father's eyes with deep earnestness. "Mudkit's been very grumpy lately," she informed him in a confidential whisper. I heard every word, and I doubt she even cared if I heard or not. "Don't mind her. She's like that all the time now." I had to stifle an angry sob. The words stung badly, but I didn't cry. I couldn't afford to cry.

"I see," Redsplash mews, sighing disappointedly. "I need to go now, love, I'm assigned to a border patrol. I'll try to play with you later."

I gave them a sidelong glance, long enough to see Emberkit pout cutely. "Aww, Daddy," she protested, tipping her head ever-so-slightly to the side. "I'm going to miss you." Words like this always seemed to reach my father's heart. His eyes softened, and he told her in a gentle tone,

"I'll miss you, too. But this is something I have to do. Run along now." He gave her a gentle nudge, beginning to back out of the nursery now. I stared at him icily out of the corner of my eyes. Would he miss me? I don't really think so.

Redsplash left, and Emberkit trailed back into our nest. I was the only other occupant within it, since Sootbreeze was outside sharing tongues with a few other queens. Emberkit sat beside me, sighing with boredom. "I want to do something now," she mewed, poking at the rim of our nest. "I'm booooored."

In answer to her, I stepped out of the nest as daintily as I could, flicking my tail-tip so it could glance off of her nose. Then, with purposeful delicate steps, I made my way to Stonekit's nest. As usual, I managed to blunder the scene by slipping on a patch of new moss. As I tripped over myself, I heard Emberkit's amused giggles behind me. Casting off my show of gracefulness, I stormed over to my only friend and plopped myself down beside him noisily. Stonekit glanced at me, saying mildly, "Something the matter?"

"I hate my sister," I spat, wrapping my tail tightly around my forepaws to keep it from lashing back and forth. "Don't you ever see how she acts?" Stonekit shrugged, peering over my head to gaze at my sister. He took on a dreamy look.

"Oh, I don't know…" he murmured, a goofy grin spreading across his face. "She's rather pretty." Promptly after he said so, I gave him a withering glare, and I stormed out of the nest just as I had done with the other one. Under the layer of angriness I held, there was raw fear. Even my only friend was taking sides now. My life was all a game of taking sides.

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